Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Reality Check

We all experience moments when we feel our mortality more acutely than others, today was one of those moments for me. I attended a funeral today. Like most, it was both beautiful and raw, a mix of laughter and tears but unlike every other funeral I have attended in the past decade this was a memorial to a life lived long and a life lived well, as evidenced by the 4 long church pews reserved for and filled by immediate family. In these moments, when you hear the life of another recounted through the love of those they left behind, it’s hard not to ask yourself what your legacy will look like. What will be said about you when you are gone? Are you living a life in the here and now that will tell your story completely when you are gone? I know I yell more than I should, cuss more than I should and fight a temper that sometimes boils over too quickly. I also know that I love as hard as I can, trust more than I probably should and really try hard to put others before myself, but some days are clearly more successful than others. I know I should go to church more and want so badly to make that a part of my family’s life but am not taking the steps to make it happen? I want to give Buster a foundation that teaches tolerance and acceptance of things that are different. That embraces kindness over hatred and that encourages service to others but am I living my life in a way to show him those things? Am I walking the walk? I don’t fear death per say, maybe how it might come to me, but not actual death. I know my Lord and I know that my time in this place is finite but I mean, isn’t that the point? We all, every one of us, has a limited amount of time to make our mark, if we had “forever” would we be as motivated to make the most of the hear and now? Would we be as compelled to strive to be better versions of who we are today? I don’t know. Part of me feels that if there were no beginning and end to this life that it would be far too easy to just let each day slip by and not give any thought to who we are or how we treat others because we would have infinite days ahead of us-why bother now? But we don’t, we don’t have an infinite number of days. We don’t even get to know how many of those days we will be given, sort of lights a fire under you hua? A reason to wake each day and think, if this is my last day what will my gift to the world be today? Will I leave this Earth having done the absolute best I can? I hope so my friend, I certainly hope so.

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